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Topics: Competition, Lying, Lies

Thursday, 2 October 2008

image for World Exaggeration Contest an overwhelmingly  massive success
Winner: Michael Jackson

Millions of people turned up today at a packed Croydon Community Centre in London to take part in the annual World Exaggeration Contest.

The annual contest pits people all over the world against each other who can simply exaggerate any which way they feel.

Organiser Yuri Diculous said "I'm not kidding but this is the biggest event since Jesus was resurrected. We've got trillions of people from all over the world here today, despite the £80k entry fee"

Angler, Annette Fisher, ran from one side of the 300ft long room to the other, to show the length of the biggest fish she ever caught.

Long standing benefit cheat, Charity Case was alleged to have recited the Incapacity Benefit Guidelines backwards and in 14 different languages including the programming language C++.

Meanwhile French mystery man, Drew A. Blanc had nothing to say and was disqualified.

The event was not lost on celebrities and other famous people too.

Mike Ashley, Newcastle United football club owner who is trying to sell the club announced that "£350 Million would buy it" which led to hoots of exaggerated canned laughter from the audience.

Ex pop star turned paedo, Gary Glitter also turned up with his new girlfriend and chipped in with his exaggerated boast "She's called Mi Chinh and she's 16"
Bill Gates also attended the event and promised the world 'a new stable operating system by the year 2130'

But the winner was another pop star turned paedo, Michael Jackson who simply held up a picture of his face to the audience.

[It's not true that the Not The Nine O'clock News team was in anyway affected in the making up of this story by the events today]

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