Written by ukcliffjones
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Topics: David Blaine

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

image for David Blaine To Work Mundane Job For Forty Five Years
Get a job!

US illusionist David Blaine is to take on his biggest challenge yet in a feat of endurance that has silenced even his harshest critics.

"I will go to new parts of my mind, " he said, "I will wake up at six thirty every morning and travel to an office. The building will be sealed and air will be recirculated using machines. I will be allowed to eat, but often it will be over-priced sandwiches at my desk. After work, I will go home and repeat the exercise the next day."

The celebrity entertainer stroke magician says it will be a trial which will test not just his body and mind, but his soul.

He continued: "And I will do this for forty-five years."

Under the strict conditions imposed on the trial, Blaine is allowed to have weekends and holidays off. He will begin performing the stunt in his native New York City, but career advisors say he may be in for surprises.

"There will be reshuffles, possible transfers, job-shares, hot-desking," said one, who preferred not to be named, "- the truth is, when you set out to do a desk job, things don't always go to plan."

What is certain is that Blaine, currently ranked 98 on the Forbes Top Celebrity list, will find it very dull as his salary drops from $2m to $48,000.

"That's probably going to be the hardest thing," said actor and close friend Leonardo DiCaprio, "he may be able to go to sporting events, but he can kiss those courtside seats goodbye."

After the forty five years are finished, he will stop working the job and survive on even less, facing health problems while he tries to rebuild his relationship with his family who will undoubtedly have their own lives.

The feat, entitled "David Blaine: Nine To Five" will end in 2053.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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