Written by Charlie Van Horn
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Topics: Washington, Books

Saturday, 29 May 2004

image for Saudi Militants hold books hostage
Overdue fines don't fear these terrorists

(WASHINGTON)--Officials in the State Department have no comment this morning as Al-Jazeera and other news sources released pictures of books being held at gunpoint.

The pictures, supposedly from the "We-at Honky Martyrs Union" Local 133, show small books taken by force from a library in Riyahd.

Professor of Middle Eastern Libraries at the University of Wisconsin at Fennimore, Eric Atherton, had no comment and was only mentioned so the author could say 'University of Wisconsin at Fennimore" one more time.

Librarians across the United States moved themselves to Dewey Decimal Alert point 4, which is something really really important, we assume.

Marcia Fingerbottom, a librarian at Groveland Elementary Grade School, had no comment and asked me personally to please be quite and to stop looking at porn on the third graders computer.

Ms. Fingerbottom, upon further questioning, thought some of the pictures were in good taste and began feeling rather 'randy'.

I gotta go now. SCORE in a grade school library.

Boo-ya

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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