Written by Morse
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Topics: Barack Obama, UN, Somalia

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

image for Obama spurns UN, heads for Somalia

Declaring victory for his war policies in Iraq and Afghanistan, Presidential hopeful Barack Obama cut short his middle eastern tour and turned his attention toward his peace initiative in Somalia.

Spurning recent UN approval for allowing several nations to send naval forces to deal with wanton piracy in the area, 26 ships have been taken this year, Obama has made contact with the Pirate Coalition Forces (PCF) and decided a face to face can solve the problem.

The nation of Somalia has been without a stable government since 1991, and is unable to protect its 1800 mile coast line bordering the major trade routes to the Indian Ocean and the Red Sea.

Ethiopian troops helped expel Islamic militants in 2006, but the militant al-Shabab fighters refuse to sit at a UN peace table until the Ethiopian army leaves the area.

Prime Minister of Somalia, Jose Luis Rodriquez Zapatero, has requested to sit in on any Obama talks with the pirates, but has been rebuffed several times by the Obama international negotiating team claiming they can't pronounce his name, and they don't speak Somali, although it is on their to do list after the election.

The pirates claim they don't have sufficient firepower or the long range attack vessels to venture 60-80 miles offshore to hijack cruise ships, tankers and cargo ships successfully and have asked for US aid so they can make a decent living robbing and pillaging the infidels.

Democratic Chairman of the Armed Services Committee , Carl Levin, Mi, backed by Senator Hillary Clinton, NY, have given Obama carte blanche to help the beleagued pirates, who are also being represented in the World Court by the ACLU.

Former Senator John Kerry has suggested the US send a squadron of mothballed Swift Boats to aid the PCF, and he was willing to help recommision the boats and aid in the training of the 5 man crews as long as he could get some kind of medal.

Meanwhile at the PCF's home port, large banners featuring the New Yorker Magazine's recent cover photo of the self-proclaimed next President of the United States adorned the local mosque and every Toyota truck mounted with a .50 caliber machine gun. While in the crowded streets militants loudly prepared to welcome Barack Obama and his newest campaign supporter, Patty Hearst.

A local ak-47 armed Islamist proudly told this reporter, "By the time he leaves here, he'll be the President of our country too!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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