Gus Hiddink, the coach of beaten Euro 2008 semi-finalists Russia, has been summoned back to Moscow by Russian President Dmitry Medvedev, and will be sent to a Gulag - never to be seen again.
Hiddink was the toast of the Kremlin last week after guiding the national team to an unlikely second round berth, and an even unlikelier 3-1 win against in-form Holland, but last night's 3-0 reverse at the hands of Spain has angered Russians.
In Moscow, there were protests in Red Square, and calls for Hiddink to be sacked. The Kremlin went several steps further, however, and said that the Dutchman will be despatched to a Siberian work camp for the rest of his life.
When told of this, Hiddink expressed mild disappointment, asking only if could assume control of the camp's football team, Dynamo Gulag.
Follow us on Twitter