Written by Ross Douglas
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Sunday, 16 May 2004

image for George W Bush resorts to shock tactics.
Vote GW or the kitten gets it.

George W Bush today took the unprecedented step of using "shock and awe" on the American public in order to get support for the presidential re-election campaign.

The latest advertisement in Bush's Re-election campaign shows several small animals being threatened with a violent and bloody death.

A spokesperson for the president today said "El Presidenté has decided to no longer pussyfoot around shaking hands, offering empty promises that he will lower taxes for the poor and raise them for the rich and will be going all out for re-election on the promise of needless killings if he doesn't get his own way."

Shocked reporters sat silently in the press office as pictures were shown of lemmings being threatened with baseball bats, gerbils with grenades strapped to them and in one picture a hamster being threatened with insertion into the colon of Colin Powell.

Whitehouse insiders strenuously denied reports that the pictures were faked as animal rights groups around the world poured condemnation onto the president.

A spokeswoman for PETA who was at the press conference said that this was the lowest any human could sink to in order to get votes just before she was dragged away by government goons.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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