News stations around the world observed a self-imposed news ban today after several breaking news stories signalled the worst day of news in the history of news reporting.
Excessively bad news was the order of the day, and it was decided that, rather than subject innocent viewers to the horrors of world news, a blackout of all news stations and other types of media should be enforced.
It's thought that the excessively bad news would have included an earthquake, two hurricanes, a cyclone, two new wars, an impending famine, a collapsing crane, missing children, rape, murders, knife crime, lack of prison spaces, and a man in Dudley who subjected a donkey to a terrible attack by remorselessly whipping the beast with a feather, though this last incident has yet to be confirmed by police.
Worse news came when the old maxim "No news is good news" was made redundant.
The newsless day did have the faintest of silver linings though, when contributors to TheSpoof.com, a satirical news website, were given the day off.
One of its writers, Miss Carina-eta, 43, said:
"I'm pleased about having the day off, because I have a stack of washing, and the ironing needs doing as well."