Written by Clifford Rutley
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Topics: Drugs, Cannabis, Cooking

Tuesday, 27 May 2008

image for Basil, Rosemary and Thyme To Be Banned As Class B Illegal Drugs - Along With Many Other Natural Herbs.
All Naturally Occurring Herbs To Be Criminalised

Legal prescription drugs and alcohol account for hundreds of thousands of deaths in the US and UK each year, but marijuana has accounted for none.

This continues even though it is a naturally occurring plant that can be used to make hemp clothing, treat many medical ailments and can also be used to make oil that can be used as fuel. It is also one of the easiest plants for people to grow themselves, in almost any climate.

One other commonly overlooked fact is that there are only a few species that actually contain the THC that is billed as being so bad, but our governments' have banned nearly every type of plant in the cannabis family. Strangely though, the cannabis plant that produces the hops that are used in beers is still produced, under license, by many beer manufacturers.

This has caused a problem, with the UK government wanting to raise this natural herb back up to the status of a class B illegal drug. However, the corporate lobbyists have suggested a way in which they can ban more natural herbs, therefore creating a new way to criminalise more harmless activities and therefore get more people into the corporately controlled criminal system, whilst also protecting their pharmaceutical interests, which would suffer greatly from the herb's legalisation.

They have suggested banning basil, the popular herb that many people add to pasta dishes, along with rosemary and thyme. Initial estimates suggest that many people will have these somewhere in the back of their kitchen cupboards, probably forgotten about for years.

The corporate lobbyists have suggested that if they can get the ban pushed through parliament and congress at 10pm, when no one is paying attention, then they'll be able to commence swat team raids by 5am, long before many of their victims even get a chance to get up in the morning and watch the news, that may warn them of the ban, whilst they eat their breakfast of scrambled eggs with thyme on toast.

'It sounds like a good plan to me,' said PC Jackboot when we asked him about his opinion on the subject. 'We can't have millions of crazed evil people driving to work with masses of psychotic thyme and basil compounds running through their veins! The quicker they ban them evil naturally occurring substances the better!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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