Written by kungfuiceskater
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Wednesday, 12 May 2004

image for American Idol News: New Judges Next Season. Simon remains; Omarosa and MJ Replace Paula and Randy
A global phenomenon

Omarosa has done it again. The Apprentice outcast will be joining Michael Jackson and Simon Cowell as judges on next season's American Idol and Simon isn't happy. Simon and Omarosa got into a feisty argument and your favorite writer KungFu Iceskater caught it all on his secret microphone.

Simon Cowell: "I mean it's just preposterous. She doesn't sing, wears too much make-up and I'm not sure that I want Donald Trump's sloppy seconds. Didn't Donald Trump shag her "human pyramid style"?"

Omarosa: "Did you just say the "N" word to me? I don't believe it, Simon Cowell just called me the "N" word."

Simon Cowell: "Look at you starting your drama, all over again. I mean, which trailer park did you crawl out of???? Oh that's right; you crawled out of the trailer parked right behind the White House!!!!"

Omarosa: "Did you just hear him, he said the pot called the kettle the "N" word? Why don't you take your racist ways back to England! Your language shows how inferior you are to me!"

Simon Cowell: "Oh shut up you bee-aaaa-tcchhhhh. The word is Nigga. You're not cool enough to be a Nigga, you're a bee-aa-tchh hoe!!"

Omarosa: "Oh, I don't believe it. He just called my mother the N word. Did you hear him everybody? I'm too classy, I'm getting out of here. Your brute British ways are giving me a mental rash!!!"

Simon Cowell: "I'm surprised that you're married. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole. Wink. Wink. My "North Pole" is kind of "grande" though. If you fancy I could give you a quick sample."

Omarosa: "Did you see him? He just drop kicked me, spat on me, punched me in my stomach and then groped me inappropriately."

Simon Cowell: "Come on, there are a million cameras on us. This is live TV not unscripted drama."

Omarosa: "I'm going on Oprah to talk about you buddy. Then I'm getting a record deal, a book deal, a modeling deal, a political position deal, a fish tank deal, and all the deals in the world until I become world dictator, you hear me Simon?? You hear me??"

Simon Cowell: "I only have two words for you: You're fired!"

Omarosa: "Ahhhhh" (Omarosa starts crying.) "How dare you go there you bastard? Ahhhhhh. How dare you go there?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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