Written by Angus McFiddle
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Topics: China

Monday, 12 May 2008

image for Quake rattles china, new crockery needed

A massive earthquake rattled china this morning, causing fears over the impending Olympics.

The quake, which measured 7.8 on the Lichter Scale, rattled all the china in their cupboards, including CUPS, PLATES and even DISHES.

The Olympic catering committee immediately issued an appeal for crockery, worried that they would not have enough to serve posh tea to visiting dignitaries during the games.

The Chinese authorities decided to take out revenge on Buddhist Monks, just for the hell of it. The monks claimed their innocence. "It wasn't us. We have no beef against crockery," said one peaceman. "We were busy having choir practice, holding hands and singing our one-note hit Nim Yoho Rengay Kyo."

UK company Whittards teamed up with Richard Branson's Virgin Airlines to fly an emergency batch of teapots and cups to the ravaged country, but they were returned as unusable because the cups had handles. "We use cups without handles," said an Olympic official.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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