NBC might have something to smile about during fall sweeps, after the end of hit show Friends'. Mr. "Unscripted Drama", Mark Burnett is teaming with NBC and Amnesty International to produce a new reality show, starring W and Saddam, in which the most brutal dictator wins the coveted title "Glorious Dictator". Writer KungFu IceSkater, gave three episode suggestions to Mark Burnett, complete with episode results. Mark told us that he'll be using at least one of our ideas.
Week One: Whoops, I Bombed Civilians!
Week one is a draw. It would be tough to beat the antics of a mad man who bombed his own people, the Kurds, in Northern Iraq, but W who has been responsible (well, maybe indirectly) for the deaths of thousands of civilian Iraqis (aka collateral damage) may actually have wreaked an equally titillating level of terror on Iraqi people. Imagine the exciting sound of a misguided Patriot missile whizzing through your living room while you're having dinner with that hot, sexy date. Trust me, one way or another, there'll be a big bang during or after dinner!!!
Week Two: I Am A Prisoner's Worst Nightmare!
Week two goes to Bush. I mean, the ability to inject humor into prisoner terror is comedic gold. Under Saddam's leadership, prisoners were regularly beaten and electrocuted. Yeah, yeah , yeah .. cliché, cliché, cliché blah, blah, blah. Under W's leadership, "the human pyramid" was invented. That's right buddy, mess with W and 10 of your best friends might be giving you "group anal examinations". I bet you never knew that your buddy John could get hard for you. Ooh, nice!!
Week Three: Leadership 101: Incentivize Thine Employees.
Week three actually goes to Saddam. While a deck of playing cards and multi-million dollar rewards for capturing or killing military leaders, are exciting, Saddam actually told his employees that they would have 70 wives, AKA, sex slaves in the afterlife, if they died in his service. By showing a deep understanding of the psyche of the male being, Saddam edged W out by a fraction. We're addicted gamblers though, so we do like the most wanted deck of cards W!!
Two weeks ago Osama called and asked Mark Burnett why he hadn't been invited to participate in the show. Mark Burnett reportedly broke down into tears , apologized profusely and begged Osama to spare his life. In a related news story, Halliburton has agreed to be the Dictator's primary advertiser.