Written by David Hawkins
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Topics: Hunger, vomit, sick

Thursday, 8 May 2008

image for Vomit Used To Feed The World
Manatee Vomit On Manatee Vomit Toast. MmmMM

To help the worldwide food crisis brought on by President Bush, hundreds of barrels of manatee vomit made into loaves were shipped in to the hideously disgusting African port of Ngumbobzuti Zhambouti on cargo ships this week.

The Florida manatee or sea cow is the only ocean going mammal to feed its young on its vomited out cud of half chewed, half digested sea grass and sardines. Marine biologists at Plech's Underwater Kinetics Environmental Inc. have devised a process in which the hurl is expelled from the animals and sprayed onto a wall and dried and then scraped off and formed into loaves.

"We add vitamins and it's packed with nutrients. After it's toasted and smeared with some butter, the manatee puke toast is quite refreshing", said Kylee and Kayla, manatee trainers at P.U.K.E. inc.

"Kind of tastes like fishy blark", said Hugh Earl Wroughf, accountant for P.U.K.E. Inc.

The corporation plans to be able to feed 5000 starving people a day but keeping everyone from knowing it is animal yark is hard to do.

Director of the project, Ireland's favorite pop singer, Kate Gah-Kragurglegah said: "Working on this project has been almost as disgusting as a 1/2 hour version of Pirates of The Caribbean III but hey, beggers can't be choosers."

When seeing that the workers were puking quite a bit themselves into the mixture of vomit and vitamins we asked if they were worrying about contaminating the foodstuff.
"Hey it's vomit man." replied Karl Blurk, wiping off his chin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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