Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Topics: Gay, fishing

Monday, 21 April 2008

image for Gay fishing tournament up Shit Creek.
Shit Creek, County Clare.

This years World Gay Fishing Final will be at held at Shit Creek, County Clare on Ireland's wet and windy west coast during the inaugural Spanish Point Gay and Lesbian Festival.

Accommodation is at a premium this year after the towns Bed and Breakfast owners reaffirmed their intention to stop same sex couples from sleeping in the same room and getting up to 'mischief'. Dick Fitzgerald, the acting President of the GAA, Gay Anglers Association made a brief statement to the press as he waited in line for the ATM outside the Bank of Ireland in Parliament street in Lahinch.

"They did the same thing last year when the Lesbian Lacrosse Final was held in Muff in Donegal, and when the pubic hairdressing competition was based in Trim Co. Meath the price of B+B accommodation nearly trebled, its a rip off."

This is the first time time a Gay fishing competition has been held in Ireland and may well be the last if local opinion is anything to go by.

Local harridan and boil lancer 79 year old Mary Gibney MeGuinness complained bitterly at the local pharmacy about unwanted female attention and of visual violation by the newly arrived Gay community.

"Young ones undressing me with their eyes so they were. One dirty bitch even asked me if I'd like help crossing the road! If that's not a leading question then I'm not wearing any knickers."

Mick Glennon, a local farmer and County Councillor representing the 'Shit Creek' constituency also voiced his opposition to a repeat of the Gay fishing event and put forward a number of reasons to support the local communities position on the matter.

"The people of Shit Creek have nothing against Gay and Lesbian people, we have a Polish girl at the petrol pumps making the breakfast rolls and the lad who drives the coal lorry could be a black lad so as you can see we are willing to accept that the world is constantly evolving and changing.
However, what we cannot, and will not accept is an sudden influx of gayness such as we have witnessed thus far. Whats next? Fly fishing? "

Mr Glennon cited his families personal experience of having met a gay person as one of the possible reasons that his brother never married.

"Jimmy went for a few pints with a queer fella once, If he'd known the risks he says he'd never have gone and to this day he's convinced that he might have contracted a bit of that gayness.

"This is a farming community and the effect on livestock could be devastating if that sort of carry on is allowed to continue."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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