Written by Jesus Budda
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Tuesday, 8 April 2008

image for Worlds Smallest Vagina - New Record Holder
Russian dolls like these are used to confirm measurements.

The Guinness Book of Records has just confirmed that they have discovered the smallest vagina ever caught on record. It belongs to Jennifer Jenkins, a trailer-trash skank who lives somewhere in Nebraska.

"While drinking in a local bar and getting pissed out of my mind as usual, a woman came up to us called Jennifer and told us that she thought she had something we'd be interested in seeing", said Book of Records official adjudacator, Mike Rafone, "and boy was she right!

"At first I didn't know what she was showing me. It wasn't until we got her down to the lab and under a microscope that we could confirm what was going on".

At .0006mm, she beat the previous record holder Marishka Kiezlowski - the Polish woman who briefly dated the guy with the worlds largest penis - by a full 1/10th of a millimeter.

Miss Jenkins only dates Chinese men.

"It's hard to have a normal relationship, per se", she drawled, "only guys I mess around with are Communist Officals for the Olympic Games. And boy, are they frisky sons-a-bitches. Small, but frisky.

"Usually people can hear me waliking down the street by the squeeking noise", she added, "I used to say it was my new shoes, but nobody believed me. So now I just come right out and tell 'em the truth."

A picture will accompany Jennifers entry in the latest edition of the hit-selling book, but retailers have advised pervs not to get too excited.

"It's so miniscule, the image is only the size of a pinhead", said Dorothy Landers of Book publishing giant 'Samson & Shyster', "and thats after magnification".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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