Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 7 April 2008

image for Olympic Torch Snuffed Out By French Armpits
Unobtainable in France

The Olympic Torch has been snuffed out during its visit to Paris on the French leg of its European Tour, sources inside France have said.

Dubbed Le Torch by the daft French media, the everlasting symbol of Olympicity was accidentally extinguished when French athletes carrying it down the Champs-Elysees towards that big tower allowed their armpits to come into contact with its flame.

There was a brief explosion, after which, Le Torch went out permanently. One person was injured, sustaining 96% burns to an armpit, but was otherwise unscathed.

Chinese officials complained bitterly to the French delegates, and only backed down when the smell of the Parisienne underarms became too much for them to bear.

Gendarmes have cordoned the area off, and forensic teams are this afternoon looking for singed hairs to add to various French delicacies de cuisine.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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