Written by Jesus Budda
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Tuesday, 19 February 2008

image for Fidel Castro: Ron Paul Should Take My Place
"Your mother sucks c*cks in hell", damn I love that movie The Horse Whisperer. Boy, I just love being old and senile.

Fidel Castro, the self-proclaimed leader of Cuba since 1959, has steeped down as President and has asked his country to elect wildcard Republican politician Ron Paul as his successor.

The 81 year old has said he will refuse to stand for re-'election' and insists that Paul has all the credentials needed to become il Presidente.

"I have been watching the Americana elections closely with my pal Hugo," said Castro early this morning, "and one name has stood out from all the others. Ron Paul is that man".

"He believes in liberty and equality for all men and he has that revolutionary ambition that reminds me so much of myself back in the good old days", added Castro as he lit his daily morning cigar, "and besides, it would really piss those Republican gringos, no? Ha, ha, ha…(cough, splutter)"

While Paul has refused to comment on the matter so far and focuses his attention on the US and fetching his dry-cleaning, other big names have cropped up vying for the coveted leadership.

"I want power. I'm desperate!", screamed President Musharaf of Pakistan, "if they offer it to me I'll take it. I'll even bring my own troops and nuclear weapons. And my little brother Brian speaks Spanish."

Governator Schwarzenegger of California has also mooted interest. Cuba, unlike the US, allows any crazy fool to come in take over the place.

"It would make me happy", said Arnie, "but the timing is all wrong. I have meetings planned with muscular naked ladies. I must talk to Maria first before making a decision".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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