Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 19 February 2008

image for Mohamed Al Fayed Apologises For Outburst
Innocent - Uncle Tom Cobbley

Mohamed Al Fayed, the Harrods boss, today retracted part of an astonishing statement he made yesterday outside the inquest into the deaths of Diana Princess of Tarts, and Dodi Al Fayed, her sometime boyfriend.

Mr Al Fayed told reporters that he had made the statement hastily and under duress, and, after reconsidering it last night over a curry, he had decided to apologise to one of the people he had previously listed as responsible for his son's 'slaughter'.

Despite having identified more than fifty co-conspirators to the execution, including Her Majesty the Queen, Prince Philip the Nazi, Prince Charles, Camilla Barker-Powles, Tony Blair, the French ambulance service, MI5, MI6, MI High, several members of the House of Lords and a BBC reporter, he also threw into the ring the names of Dracula, Frankenstein and Uncle Tom Cobbley.

Mr Al Fayed said:

"The last was pure speculation. I apologise unreservedly to Uncle Tom, he was nowhere near it, but that BBC reporter is still an idiot."

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