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Sunday, 17 February 2008

image for Krill Demand Celebrity Status From Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay
The Triops Loved Gordons Tomato Soup

Tiny shrimpy prawny creatures Krill are demanding a greater profile in celebrity restaurant circles. The minute marine crustaceans are considered a keystone food for a variety of big ocean fish such as whales, manta rays, sharks, seals, and a few seabirds that feed almost exclusively on them.

However, they have been sidelined and marginalised by other, more exciting and exotic looking marine fare and quite frankly, they aren't going to put up with it any longer.

"We may be bottom of the food chain", announced a Krill today,"but hear us roar!!!!- well, it's more of a swishing soumd actually."

In Japan Krill are hunted in much greater quantity than whales with a total harvest of 150,000-200,000 metric tonnes annually, but it has been noted in Krill circles that no Greenpeace protesters are visible while the harvesting goes on.

"No 'Save The Krill' tee-shirts have ever been printed in human memory," commented a Krill spokesprawn.

Two billion Krill are today planning a protest march into London city centre to confront celebrity chefs like Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsay, Nigella Lawson, Ivor Novelli and Marco-Pierre White. The Krill are demanding inclusion in pre-packed frozen foods, magazine recipes and restaurant fare. The Krill spokesprawn said," We have dozens of recipes for cooking ourselves that we could pass on to these chefs. We even have our own tagline,'Have Your Fill, Eat More Krill'"

Later it was revealed that celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay had in fact served Krill in his flagship London restaurant "F*cking Good Food", but had got confused and served revolting whiskery Triops on a bed of babyleaf beetroot instead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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