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Sunday, 20 January 2008

image for Planet Earth Recalled By Manufacturer
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Local Galaxy Group (IPP) - The manufacturer of the Earth has recalled the planet due to imperfections and elements dangerous to the planet's environment and inhabitants and possibly even dangerous to the populations and environments of other planetary systems and their inhabitants.

The instruction papers that were provided with the planet clearly indicate that the creatures with the supposed highest level of intelligence and evolution who populate the planet were supposed to have been created in the image of their creator.

After close review it has been determined that there are far too many flaws characteristic of Earth's "dominant" species and this is contrary to the original intent and purposes of the creating unit.

The manufacturer has clearly stated that the problem central and ubiquitous or universal among Earth's people can only be described by certain definitions as follows: Earth's people are niggling in their nature which means that they are petty or incessantly bothersome in a petty way. They are fixated and obsessed with all of that which is inconsequential, measely, picayune, piddling, trifling, and trivial. They are shallow where they should be deep. They are unappreciative.

In effect the creator has thrown his pearls before swine.

The result is misery and suffering and lack of peace, tranquility, and harmony where clearly the opposite could just as easily exist.

Earth's people are neurotic and psychotic and specialize in making bad choices with those at the top repeatedly demonstrating the absolute truth of the Peter principle.

They have created imbalances in wealth and health thanks to greed and avarice.

All of these things have led to war and famine where there should instead be peace and plenty for all. A severe decline in the quality of life and the environment has left the planet's designer no choice but to eradicate the virus which Earth's top beings have become.

There have been information leaks originating from the corner office as to how changes will be made. Since no one now present will be around after the changes are made there is really no point in alarming the life forms that will be affected by the actions that are soon to come.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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