Gerry McCann went back to work as a cardiologist at Glenfield Hospital in Leicester, England this week. Looking sexy ater his boob job, he said that he and his wife Kate had done as much as they could in the search for their little girl.
"I searched the garden. Kate looked in the garage. No luck. She's nowhere to be found," said Gerry yesterday as he spoke to the assembled media outside his home, "Kate has even tattoed Maddies name onto her beautiful new breasts in the hope that it may jog peoples attention".
"Certain sections of the media has branded us cold and distant and heartless but I work with hearts every day. I know hearts very well.I love hearts", said an emotional Gerry as his wife fondled his new breasts in a show of support.
"We may not have the 'normal' emotions that some may expect of us but we are human".
The Police in Portugal have released abrand new photofit image of a potential suspect in the investigation. The image, a crude oil painting done in the style of Rembrandt, shows a male,with a goatee beard, brown hair and a distinctive 17th century hat.
"It is not a very accurate sketch", said Detective Jose Ignorantes, "but maybe somebody out there will recognise the person from this crude depiction".
Within hours of her disappearance in southern Portugal on May 3, the story of Madeleine McCann became the center of attention fror the worlds media and has remained in the forefront of the publics attention ever since.
Madeleine, or Maddie as so many have come to know her, vanished from the family's holiday apartment in the resort of Praia da Luz while her parents - both doctors - were drinking a short distance away within site of the complex.
Various supects or 'Arguido' have been questioned - nearly all British in fact. 70's Glam rock star Gary Glitter was the first to come under suspicion.
"He stood out from very early on", said Portugeuse jounalist Pauleta Gomez, "he walked around in 8 inch heels with a sparkley cape so he was bound to arounse suspicion. Oh yes and his fondness for kids is well known. B*stard".
Then there was Pete Townshend, guitarist of The Who fame, who was briefly talked to by cops.
"The police questinonedhim briefly. Mostly just getting him to sign autographs and stuff", said Pauleta, "he was just dropped by to look at some pictures of kids to clear up some childhood troubles or someting. He signed my tits, look. "
But the McCann family themselves has undergone the most scrutiny.
"Kate and Gerry were put under lots of pressure to talk", said Pauleta, "unfortunately neither of them spoke Portugeuese and the cops talking to them didn't speak English so they mostly just sat there looking across the table at each other playing charades.By the time the translater was found, The McCanns had f*cked off home.".
Back at the British hospital, Gerry believes Maddie will be found:
"She's out there somewhere and someone knows something. If anyone one has any information they can page me- oh except on Sundays, thats my rest day in front of the telly".