Written by Mister Meaner
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Monday, 29 October 2007

image for 'England In Need' Aid Appeal Gathers Momentum
Poor little beggars! Here's £500!

A worldwide aid appeal has been launched to help millions of people in England who, through contributing to so many other worldwide aid appeals, charities and sponsored runs, have left themselves penniless.

Thousands of countries all over the planet have joined forces in a massive effort to save the starving, poverty-stricken English 'hand-that-has-fed-them-for-decades'.

Organisations within Ethiopia, Bangladesh, Ethiopia, Iraq, Sudan, all African countries fighting wars, Indonesia, Sri Lanka and Ethiopia, have said they will "pull out all the stops" to save the poor English, some of whom have undergone drastic lifestyle changes since they regularly started to contribute to aid appeals.

One charitable woman, Gladys Fothergill, 86, of Manchester, said:

"I've only got me pension, but when I saw them little coloured children on the telly with flies crawling on their lips, I just had to give summat. Now I can't even afford to go to Bingo."

Twins Jack and Jill Hill, 6, gave up their pocket money for the Islamic Disaster Fund. Jack said:

"We're suckers for this kind of thing in England. We donated £10. Now we haven't even got enough for our ciggies."

"Or our pills" said Jill.

The World Health Organisation (WHO?) is monitoring the situation in England, where at least ten new charities or appeals spring up each week, and has vowed to help to eradicate "mindless giving" by the year 2689.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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