Written by Jesus Budda
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Saturday, 27 October 2007

image for Ireland PM Ahern gets massive payrise
Irish people are annoyed with their leaders payrise. This is one of their badgers. He's annoyed too.

Bertie Ahern, the Prime Minister - or Taoiseach as he is referred to in his home country - has been given a pay rise. This fact in itself is nothing too dramatic but what makes it particularly interesting is the fact that he is now better paid than German Chancellor Angela Merkle, British leader Gordon Brown and even George Bush!

Ahern, father of soppy novel writer Cecelia Ahern of "P.S I love Poo" fame, now earns 310,000 Euro ($445,811) - a 14% pay hike that has pissed off many of the island nations restless natives.

Potato grower, Fergus McCarthy had this to say when questioned of the PM's finances: "Dirty feckin' b*stard. There he is swannin' around in his gold coated private chariot spending my hard earned tax money and here I am standing in sh*t scratching me b*ll*xs. The B*stard!". Charming.

When approached for a comment, Ahern had this to say: "F*ck off". We didn't expect much better from the illiterate, red faced toad.

Ireland has become a shining lite in Europe for it's so-called "Celtic Tigar" economy which brought massive wealth the the green sh*thole after years of torment and emigration. Since the mid 1800's Irish people have had to emigrate to find a better life but during the latter years of the 20th century it had an economic boom from sales of pigsh*t to rich foreign investors which led to an economic miracle.

What irks many is the details of Aherns own unusual financial situation stretching back many years. He was accused of accepting bribes and bizarre meetings in which he was "given" cash payments by "friends" who just happened to be wealthy businessmen. But Ahern, who only this year became re-elected for the 50th time, has brushed aside any wrongdoing and continues to feather his nest - quite literally: it's reported that he has bought a nest on top of an Irish mountain which he has had redeveloped as a 6 storey palace decorated in gold jewels, which he claims is only fitting of his new found status as king of Europes wealthy "Corrupt B*stards".

We leave the final word to ordinary man Mister MCCarthy: "Ahern is a pr*ck and so are all politicians.That's life and we have to either like it or lump it. Well I'm off now to feed the badgers".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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