Tel Aviv - (Reuterus): Israeli President Shimon Perez has said that an exact DNA match between himself and 'ambassador for Judaism' Madonna points to just one thing:
"The Material Girl is the fruitcake of my loins," Perez said today after receiving a dozen crates of the singer's supernatural Kabbala Water as a Jewish New Year present last month.
Madonna was brought up as a Catholic and even named her daughter after a shrine to Mary in the French Pyrenees.
But she spurned the religion when Pope JP2 refused her an audience on aesthetic grounds.
Since then she's bankrolled her martyrdom status as a papal reject with gimmicky stage stunts like a recent crucifixion scene depicting her as a female Jesus.
Today's revelations about her paternity cast doubt on the whole construct of her early years as a simple New York Italian gal.
"It will take a miracle to live this one down," a music industry source said today.
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