Written by Zack Matheson
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Topics: Terrorism, Ford

Thursday, 4 October 2007

image for Ford Motors to Reintroduce the Pinto as Counter-Terrorism Weapon
Pinto excelled in its safety tests

DETROIT, MI -- The Ford Pinto, the car that was once considered to be one of the worst cars ever produced because of a tendency to explode due to an exposed gas tank that was easily ruptured in rear end collisions, is back. But sorry America, you'll have to go to Iraq to buy a new one.

The new Pinto, which is a replica of the 1977 model once called "the barbecue that seats four," will be rolling off assembly lines next month. Henry Ford Jr. III, CEO of Ford Motors, is ecstatic about the new Pinto. "The terrorists have their cars bombs and we have our Pintos. But their car bombs don't have comfortable seats."

The new Pinto contains a slightly souped-up engine compared to its predecessor and is part of a government plan to flood the burgeoning Iraqi car market with new Pintos to "let the terrorists blow themselves up."

General David Petraeus, Commander of the Multi-National Force in Iraq said: "The Pinto could be the turning point in the war. If enough insurgents get in rear end collisions while driving Pintos, we might be able to start withdrawing U.S. troops from the region sooner than expected."

Approximately 170,000 American soldiers stationed in Iraq have their fingers crossed that the Pinto is a success.

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