Written by Mister Meaner
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Topics: Peru, Ecology

Thursday, 4 October 2007

image for Peruvian Ecologists Discover New Tribe
This was one of them

Ecologists in Peru have discovered a previously unknown indigenous group living in the Amazon jungle near the Brazilian border.

The ecologists, on a mission to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, spotted the group when they flew overhead in three strange craft - one of them dome-shaped, another saucer-shaped, and one penis-shaped.

A witness told how that he became terrified as one of the 'ships' landed in a clearing, and the occupants emerged.

Ricardo Hon, a government official accompanying the party, said:

"They were real scary-looking. All dressed in loin cloths, and smothered in mud. One of them had a bone stuck through his nose - I nearly passed out."

The scientists claim they could not move, and say they believe they had been immobilised or 'frozen' by the strange beings.

Alfredo Loco, from the University of Beer in Lima, said:

"This one - he was the leader - he stuck a spear right up to my face, and told me that if I didn't give him my cash and credit cards, his whole group would violate me."

The ecologists then had "missing hours" before waking up to find scorch marks on the forest floor, where the ships had "blasted off". The marks later disappeared.

It had been thought that the area was uninhabited, aside from a few illegal loggers, but now the Peruvian authorities say they will organise a thorough search in order to seek out and destroy the beings, who appear to be of significantly higher intelligence than humans.

A pan-American human rights group criticised Peru earlier this year for not doing enough to protect indigenous groups from loggers, who are chopping down the mahogany-rich forests in which they live.

Captured indigenous tribal leader, Unwatefe Chimbongo, who was snared near the area three months ago, told his captors:

"You must really like those coffee tables!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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