Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Topics: Ireland

Monday, 17 September 2007

image for Ireland to expel German Ambassador over 'Greedy Irish' remarks.
The Germans are coming.

The Irish government is today considering the expulsion of the German Ambassador to Ireland after he blasted the Irish nation as 'Avaricious' when making a speech to a group of German Industrialists at Dublin's Clontarf Castle.

Czezwaf O Bjielewitzlotzgizy a native of Killarney and champion Irish dancer who had been booked to give a rendition of traditional Irish poetry told Today FM D.J. Ray Foley that the Germans behaviour was disgraceful.

"I could not believe it! It started vell but zen he vos pounding ze podium and calling us Irish peoples greedy red haired gut for nussing drunken layabouts and he say zat Irelands history is sadder zan Polands!

"Well he should bloody vell know being a bloody German!

"Zen zey all lined up in two rows and gatecrashed a vedding in ze next room"

Under pressure Premier Bertie Ahern refused to comment on the affair when leaving the Mahon Tribunal in Dublin where he is currently being grilled about brown bag payments in the Eighties including one which involved a suitcase containing approximately 30,000 pounds in three different currencies.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has backed her under fire Ambassador by despatching the Fifth Armoured Panzer division and two battalions of storm-troopers on a Sea-Link Ferry to Dun Laoighaire Port just outside Dublin and has defended the decision by granting the military units Diplomatic status.

The Fianna Fail government has sent two senior Police Officers Garda Sergeant Mick Mullaly and Sergeant Colm O'Dea to keep an eye on them and they have promised that any public disorder from the Germans will result in arrests.

"We wont be taking any shite from those boys"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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