Written by Chuck Terzella
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Wednesday, 3 March 2004

United States President George W. Bush and Great Britain's Prime Minister Tony Blair have been nominated to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to bring peace to Iraq by bombing the crap out of the country and allowing it to fall into chaos. French President Jacques Chirac has been nominated for the same prize for opposing the killing of ten thousand Iraqi's as a method to bring peace to the country, although it may be argued that at least the ten thousand dead Iraqi's are very peaceful.

UN Weapons inspector Hans Blix and Mohamed ElBaradei have also been nominated as have John Paul II and the entire European Union. There are 194 nominations for this years prize. Some of the other nominations are as follows:

Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein for being such an inept military leader that countless lives were saved in the Iraqi war by his losing it so quickly,

The Hummer SUV for contributing to the destruction of the planet which would make it inevitably a more peaceful place,

The Halliburton Company for it's efforts to dissimulate the principals of love and peace and profit margins throughout the world,

Vice President Dick (Dick) Cheney for staying out of sight in an undisclosed location for most of his tenure, giving any clear thinking individual a sense of relief,

Rush Limbaugh for his clear and rational discourse on his drug abuse problems and American politics in general,

Mel Gibson for being just an actor instead of a rabid anti-Semite activist,

Janet Jackson for giving America what it secretly always wanted,

Paris Hilton for the same reason,

Former Baseball owner Marge Shot for finally dying,

And a ferret named Erasmus for promoting goodwill between polecats and rabbits worldwide.

Approved by Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse

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