Written by Ben Macnair
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Tuesday, 7 August 2007

image for C3PO and R2D2 to dance like Footballers
World Famous Croquet Player, Big Johnny Prescot

The camp golden robot C3P0 and his mute, somewhat irritating pal R2D2, from space documentary Star Wars, are to dance like Footballers in an attempt to resurrect their moribund film careers.

Following the example of Peter Crouch, the two robots hit upon a golden idea. C3P0 explained to this publication in his public school voice: "Myself and my associate, we were watching that rather splendid game that you earthlings call Football, and saw your Peter Crouch, a splendid chap I am sure, but not in the same league as our Master Luke, dancing. He was dancing like myself and R2D2 would after a night on the old peppermint Schnapps. So, we thought we would like to do that as well."

They have been taking dancing lessons from Peter Beardsley and David Seaman in preparation for their first performances on the pitch.

"We will dance at the beginning and end of games. Oh, it should be so much fun!" finished C3P0.

"Beep, beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, whhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee" was all that we could get in response from Peter Crouch at the time of going to press.

R2D2 of course is still in trouble with Metal Mickey, and K9 and is not seen in public these days.

We also wanted to ask Sven Goran Erickson what he thought of the charming duo's attempts, but he was enjoying a quiet glass of Pimm's and a game of Croquet with John Prescott at the time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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