Written by Mystique
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Topics: Armageddon

Thursday, 26 July 2007

While no one was looking, the world ended. The vast and most intriguing proof of this termination of all that is good and/or holy is the presence of the (I have to borrow from a movie title here) 'Scent of a Woman'.

Quietly and with a vehemence unknown prior to the end of the world, the smell of unwashed women seeking to spread love of 'smegma' has invaded the nostrils of those who still wash themselves.

Some screamed, "take me now, Lord" when the odor reached their nostrils. It is the foul wind that is the harbringer of doom foretold in all literature that predicts the end of civilization. Some say it is proof that all creatures are related somewhere down the line and the connection to skunks and polecats is now being recognized.

Not to be outdone, unwashed men proved that they too produced this 'smegma' that before now was only evident if one moved too near those that had been homeless for a while and unable to wash themselves. To have someone assume the monumental task of seeking to change the way society views malodorous individuals by refusing to bathe means that our quest to have bodies smell like anything but bodies has failed. We are to be overcome by strong smells that would have been said to reek prior to this change brought on by ... who the hell knows who started this filth. Personally, I wish that 'Soap' would come back on so that at least the word would still be in usage.

Imagine smells so strong that they invade your mouth, nose and throat as you attempt to breathe ... coming from your neighbor and civilization preventing you from asking them to move away as you would not hesitate to ask someone who smoked to move away. One might have to adopt a smoker so that the smoke can be used to disguise the odor.

If you value your sense of smell ... call your Congressperson and demand that 'smegma' be banned from all public places.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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