Written by CJ Carter
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Topics: Kids, Monster

Tuesday, 3 July 2007

image for Monsters Actually Live in Little Kids Closets to Scare them in the Night!
Can I be your friend?

A family in Seattle, Washington was scared half-to-death last night, as they found a monster in their 6-year-old son's closet.

Police are baffled to say as to how the monster actually got in the closet, but they're relieved, apparently, to get the monster out.

"The monster is gone from the house and is now being dealt with down at the police station as we spe-", Police Chief Lotta Cooties started to say, before a different monster ate him during a press conference this morning. This TheSpoof.com reporter got an interview with that monster, Mumpy, before heading off.

"Mumpy think monsters just misunderstood, but monsters really ain't that bad. Mumpy think monsters get bad rep from monsters like Frankenstein, Dracula, the Wolfman, George W. Bush, and all those other bad guys. But Mumpy say there are still good monsters out there, like Spider-Man and Yoda. Mumpy proud of Mumpy's son Elmo for being famous and paying Mumpy's bills."

The monster from the 6-year-old Daniel's closet, Graup, had this to say:

"Graup just want to be friends with little boy. Graup didn't mean to mean any badness by this whole unfortunate fiasco."

Daniel's parents had dropped all breaking and entering charges, as well as reckless endangerment to the family and overall just being too creepy and ugly for network television, which in itself is just an unfair call.

Graup is now living in the house as the family's #1 pet. No word yet on how the family dog is taking it. And Mumpy now works with his son Elmo on the hit show Sesame Street as the "Fat Ugly Furry Guy That Sometimes Stalks Bert & Ernie".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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