Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 31 May 2007

image for Sheep 'Flu Epidemic Is Sweeping The Welsh Valleys
Ooooh...those Welshmen!

A recent outbreak in Wales of, what was thought to be H5N1 Bird 'Flu, has, in fact, turned out to be rather less sinister, and has mystified Health officials in the area.

Local medical experts say Sheep Flu has spread like wildfire in the valleys, with more than 7000 reported cases in the last two weeks.

"These are the first recorded cases of Sheep Flu in this part of the world", said vet Dai Davies, adding "it's almost unknown outside Australia and New Zealand."

The virus is thought to be the non-fatal W001 strain, and it can only be contracted by "extreme intimacy".

Farmer Evan Evans, who used to be a shepherd before he developed a liking for bigger cattle, said he'd had the 'flu, but that he was now better.

"My thingy doesn't itch anymore, Boyo, and the rash has all but cleared up."

Mr Evans also claimed that the illness was quite common in many parts of Wales, and that sufferers were more than willing to put up with the discomfort, for the pleasure it brought them.

"I keep all my sheep indoors nowadays, in the bedroom. When you have them at such close quarters, you're bound to get a few sniffles and snuffles, aren't you?"

Welsh health officials have warned the public against complacency, and have issued a statement telling potential sufferers of Sheep 'Flu to lock up their herds, and to see a doctor immediately.

Roderick Morgan, from the Royal St David's Animal Fondness Hospital in Carmarthen, said:

"In some cases it can be quite nasty. The sheep don't seem to mind, but it's best to leave the fleecy little darlings alone for a while."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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