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Friday, 25 May 2007

image for Dickens Theme Park Hopes to Attract American Visitors
Typical English pensioners will greet you at the docks.

A new £62 million theme park is being built in Chatham Maritime in Kent on a Dickensian theme in the hope of attracting foreign visitors in the same way that Fawlty Towers drew tourists into the Torquay area in the 1980's.

Visitors will be greeted by slack-jawed pickpockets and opium addicted whores and that's just the Folkestone ferry-port.

From there they will be escorted round the streets of ancient England, a land where dental treatment is none existent, where children give birth to infants in filthy hospitals and homeless people sleep in piss-soaked blankets in shop doorways.

The theme park has attracted its fair share of controversy already as millions queued for weeks during its construction in the mistaken belief that new affordable housing was being built in the area. Once it was announced that the little crooked houses in dimly-lit streets were in fact part of the theme park, the queue remained where it was, instead attempting to apply for jobs.

The millionaire owner of the park today gave a press conference welcoming foreign visitors to "What The Dickens World" stating, "Yes, you can traipse round the stinking rat-infested squalor of Dickens World, then re-emerge into the stinking rat-infested squalor that is England."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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