Written by matthatt
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Topics: Religion, Zombies, cult

Thursday, 17 May 2007

image for Sinister Zombie Worshiping Cult snares billions worldwide!
Please don't smite me!

World ASS' PRESS: - There are growing concerns in some circles that a pseudo religion with cult like attributes is brainwashing people into becoming followers. The crazy tin pot cult is leading people to believe that we are all being looked after by an invisible spirit that created everything.

Concerns are also being aired about certain high ranking government officials who are heavily into this and there is evidence that it has had an effect upon some of their decision making.

There are even rumours that this goes all the way to the President of the United States of America, as well as some very influential people in charge of mass-media and global corporations.

If this is all proved true, the ramifications would be quite literally staggering.

This creepy sinister form of monotheism has insinuated itself into every level of our society on a worldwide scale, its vast tentacles coiled around virtually every aspect of our day to day lives.

It is telling people that they should listen to the teachings of a man who claimed to have been born from a woman, which the invisible spirit mated with. This man is alleged to have been killed and then apparently raised from the dead.

More recently, certain members of this madcap Zombie loving faith have stated that we should now follow the revised teachings, apparently edited by a select few, who decide what we can and can not read and attempt to dissuade us from a path of individualism and personal spirituality.

Worryingly, it has become so popular that fringe cults and off shoots have sprung up around the globe, all claiming that they are the one true path. Some of these have amassed a fortune from donations and property investments to the point where one of them now owns its own country, slap bang in the middle of Europe, with a leader who is said to be able to petition the spirit with prayer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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