Written by matthatt
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Thursday, 26 April 2007

image for Richard Gere, could get banged up in Bombay!
Rehearsing for his new role as the prison doxy.

An Indian court has issued an arrest warrant for Hollywood actor Richard Gere after he kissed Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty at an anti aids demo.

The Buddhist lothario is quaking in his sandals at the thought of being immured in Mumbai. Public displays of affection are still largely taboo in India, and protestors in Bombay set fire to effigies of Gere following the incident.

"This is far more serious than the threat of aids itself, this could undermine the fabric of our social structure" said a local solicitor who hasn't been named as yet, which is a shame for him, as he was hoping to use this to further his career. "The way I see it" continued the complete nobody "If I kick up enough stink about this and get my name connected to Richard Gere or Shilpa Shetty I will make a mint.
Imagine the headlines, local tinpot solicitor puts Richard Gere behind Bars! That would be genius!"

Shetty has defended Gere saying that "it was all done in good humour. He told me to tell the media that he didn't slip me the tongue, he said I should say that we had only been re-enacting a scene from his film Shall We Dance. I asked him if we could do a scene from one of my famous films, Bhangdaht-an-koparfeel.

Under Indian law, a person convicted of public obscenity faces up to three months in prison, a fine or having to star in toothpaste adverts made entirely in Hindi or, in extreme cases, like Geres, all three.

Gere, star of films such as 9 And a Half Weeks and Lolita, where he played a 14 year old schoolgirl to critical acclaim, is a Buddhist and travels to India frequently to visit The Lord Buddha who lives there because the countryside is nice.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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