Written by CrazyTexan
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Topics: Government, Japan

Thursday, 15 January 2004

image for Asian Bird Flu Caused By Felines
A Feline Progressive Movement Member

Japanese government officials released documents today outlining an insidious plot propagated against chickens by the feline population of Japan. The horrible Asian bird flu that has killed millions of chickens across Asia is apparently a biological war attack against the birds.

According to documents the FPM (Feline Progressive Movement) spent millions of dollars on genetic research over the last decade to make a "super strain" of influenza that attacks birds only. Once introduced, the flu is impossible to stop short of quarantine and the destruction of the infected birds.

A FPM spokes-cat issued the following statement "The FPM is once again a scapegoat for the problems in the fowl community. This accusation is ridiculous, and slanders an organization with a proud history of fighting for animal rights. Whatever caused these birds to get sick is undoubtedly related to their inferior genetics and obscene lifestyle."

The FPM is routinely suspected of supporting various terrorist enterprises that focus attacks against canines and fowl. Last year a cat was killed just hours before she was going to testify against the FPM relating to the infamous Dog Show Massacre. Police found hairballs and claw marks on the premises, but failed to link the killing to the FPM.

The documents released today were reportedly acquired by a covert operation led by DAWG (Dogs Aligned With Good).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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