Written by SamIAm
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Topics: Police, Peace, Riot, fans

Saturday, 3 February 2007

image for Peace Breaks Out At Soccer Game
Fans from rival soccer teams display "unrestrained" acts of peace after game.

Argentina - One thousand soccer fans where forced to make friends, and over nine-hundred were smiled at after peace broke out at a local soccer game.

"It was shocking," said Frenando Garcia, captain of the riot police. "Only ten minutes into the game, everyone stopped yelling and throwing things. The next thing I knew, it was mass non-hysteria."

Garcia says that he suddenly noticed fans shaking hands, smiling at one another, letting others go first through doorways, and even sharing their beer.

"Right away I knew something was not right," Garcia says.

"I didn't know what to do," said local fan, Maria Sanchez. "The guy next to me just suddenly turned and said, 'You look very lovely today, ma'am. Is that a new blouse?' It scared me a lot."

Sanchez says she did not know what to say at first. Finally she said, "Why, thank you, kind sir! Yes, this is a new blouse. Thank you for noticing. I believe your hair is quite charming today!"

The man thanked Sanchez and continued to "be nice to everyone."

"The first thing we had to do," says Garcia, "was identify the peace-makers. In every situation like this, there are usually one or two people fueling the flames. If we could find them, then we could stop this peace-making before it got out of hand."

Garcia then ordered his men to take up positions along the stairs. "I was preparing them for the inevitable."

Within minutes the peace had spread throughout the stadium, causing even fans from opposing teams to pat each other on the back and say "good luck for your team, man."

When riot police commenced spraying the crowd with water hoses, fans simply laughed and giggled, saying, "Woo-hoo! I love water slides!" and, "This guy needs a shower over here, officer! Ha-ha! Just kidding, dude!"

"Some of the fans kept attacking me with gifts," says Garcia. "If it weren't for my helmet and riot shield I would have had to accept beer, popcorn and two-hundred dollars in tips."

After the game, the peace spilled out onto the streets where more back-up riot officers were waiting.

"It was sick," said Juan Mendoza, Chief of Police. "Strangers walking home calmly, arm in arm. People hugging and exchanging phone numbers. It took us almost twenty whole minutes to clear the streets after everyone voluntarily went home."

"Let's hope this doesn't happen again," Garcia said. "This is soccer people, not an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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