Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 15 December 2006

image for Celebrity obstetrics career move for world's tallest man
We give a freakishly long armed thumbs up to the lovable Lurch

Fushun, China - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): The world's tallest man, a 2.36m Mongolian herdsman nicknamed Lurch by his Himalayan pals, looks set for a glittering career move into the unfathomable world of celebrity obstetrics after his historic life-saving of two dolphins which had swallowed peritonitis-threatening plastic shards.

The gentle giant, whose arms are 1.06m long, was able to probe the poor dumb animals and retrieve the offending articles after failure of both a stomach pump and remote-controlled medical devices to dislodge the pieces.

And now the news of his extraordinary feat has spread like wildfire across the globe to the glamorous but highly secretive world of Hollywood gynaecology and obstetrics where a recent wholistic/organic consumer trend has meant a downturn in business after hordes of women complained of disliking cold metal instrument usage in essential medical probings of their family jewels areas.

One smart medical facility patronised by local A-List glitterati has reputedly offered the lovable Lurch a seven-figure annual salary after being bombarded with queries about his potential availability in a number of sensitive personal retrieval matters.

This may include the recovery of fashionable non-ringtone vibrating telephones which some aficionados find amusing to call and call and call after appropriate foreplay techniques.

And in a parallel development news that Ms Heather Mills may soon solve her Copper 7 dilemma were met with a frosty 'no-comment' after one local clinic pronounced that some dumbos' unfathomable depths are beyond tasteful probing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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