Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Tony Blair, Russia, Spy

Friday, 24 November 2006

image for Kremlin cock-a-hoop at London poisoned chalice fracas
It wasn't me!

Moscow - (AssoCIAted Messki): Sources close to Russian Federation's National Poisons Unit are said to be cock-a-hoop today at the massive publicity generated by ex-KGB spook Alexander Litvinenko's death-bed claims that Tony Blair dropped a lethal Chernobyl-style Mickey Finn into his Whorlicks bedtime tipple.

Litvinenko, 43, died of radioactive toxicity in a London hospital on Thursday night after many weeks of blood transfusions in intensive care. But his police statement to UK cops released earlier today may point the finger at Mr Blair.

In Moscow the news was greeted with grim inscrutability by the Russian President Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin, who complained bitterly that his macho tough-guy image had gone down the toilet pan big time as a direct result of Litvinenko's accusation of the British PM.

Meanwhile at the White House, the celebratory Thanksgiving mood continued today as Bush Administration officials coagulated themselves on yet another superb example of Global Piss Process public relations triumph.

At Faux News HQ shareholders of Rupert Murdoch's family disinformation business were equally elated at this latest blissful outcome of years of Rovian toil....

In the run up to the 2000 White House election Faux arranged the leaking of Litvinenko's testimony to a NATO tribunal that a children's fantasy film figure called Dobby had been modelled on former KGB honcho Putin.

This may have been the seminal career break for the luckless spook who hurriedly applied for British asylum.

A Russian state funeral with full military honours is expected later next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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