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Thursday, 12 June 2014

image for Isolated Philippines Tribe Wants Their Souls Stolen In High Definition
Popey the cat: hijinks led to discovery of the Toobimbos

Manilla, Philippines - The completely isolated Toobimbo tribe, who have lived in an isolated valley in central Philippines for thousands of years, have told local missionaries that they would like their souls stolen in high definition rather than the standard definition that has been used for decades. The Toobimbo believe that having a picture or video taken of a person steals their soul and leaves them to wander the earth in horrific limbo forever.

Roman Catholic missionaries first discovered the Toobimbo in 1922 while searching for their lucky cat, who had run into the forest chasing a woodchuck. Wilfred Brimley, the head missionary, recorded in his journal how fortuitous it was that they'd found the Toobimbos.

Since that time, the Toobimbo have allowed missionaries and scientists to live amongst and study them, and even to take pictures and video them, despite their belief about how pictures and video steal their souls.

The spokesman for the Toobimbos, Shaman "Huggy Bear" Blutarski, said "we've let them steal our souls since my grandfather was a boy, using their cheap cameras. But we know what's going on in the rest of the world. Pixels are cheap, memory is cheap. You'd think they could at least move to 10 MP so we can roam the earth soul-less in horrific agony and be able to make decent poster-sized prints of ourselves."

The Vatican is said to be considering providing their missionaries with newer digital cameras to be respectful of the Toobimbo's request.

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