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Monday, 10 March 2014

image for Argentine President Cristina de Kirchner likens Crimea situation to the Falklands
Official PR pic from Cristina de Kirchner's daze as Miss Argentina

Buenos Aires - Daft Argie wackjob Cristina de Kirchner has come out on Vladimir Putin's side by backing the 'return' of the Crimean Peninsula to the Russians.

In a televised address this morning President Kirchner showed just how much recent brain surgery had affected her by constantly vowing 'revenge for The Belgrano', a Cold War floating rust bucket sunk by the Brits during the Falklands War.

"Eeez no just about Crimean oil and gas," Kirchner explained, "nor vast Falklands deposits of crude stuff. Eeez all about law and order and my good friend Vladimir."

Just how 'good' that friendship is remains to be seen but her public kiss up this morning has left few doubt about her suspected relationship with the Russian leader.

Diplomats familiar with the Buenos Aires set up have cited how years ago when her husband Nestor was Argentine head of state Cristina was always traipsing off on Moscow jollies for expensive designer handbags and Russian caviar.

Once, border control agents tried to stop and search her after detecting something suspicious in her airplane carry-on luggage but were frustrated by Kirchner's diplomatic bag privilege claims.

Shortly after the Argentine capital was swamped with cheap Russian vodka from the Rasputin Distillery, a family-owned company run by the KGB.

This morning's televised rant took place ahead of Kirchner's goodwill visit to the Russian Winter Paralytic Games where dozens of Argentinians are competing in the mind topless downhill slalom.

A pint of Falkland Isles Winter Warmer retails at around $2-a-pop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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