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Friday, 7 March 2014

image for Intelligence chiefs under fire for not noticing 'massive exercise' sooner
'where did they come from', say intelligence chiefs

Intelligence chiefs are said to be coming under heavy criticism for not providing timely warning of what was clearly a full-scale invasion in the Crimea. The head of the NSA is off the record in saying he was 'really quite irked' at the insensitivity of Putin. 'We are really quite busy mopping up after Snowden. The shredders have been glowing white hot, and we hardly have time to monitor Google Earth and TV news channels twenty-four seven'

The UN Security Council have expressed some sympathy with the beleaguered intelligence agencies, decrying Putin's tactic of invading-bits-of-Ukraine-that-want-to-be-Russian-first, as 'damn sneaky'. Furthermore, dressing soldiers as soldiers but not putting little labels to say which ones is really clever. We had to be really sure it wasn't Putin 'coming out' with a massive gay parade, or all those olympians that didn't get medals being sent for re-training, then getting lost on their way to Siberia.

A spokespook from the CIA revealed, 'First we knew was when we happened to intercept a tweet to 'SugarTits69', an account known to be of 'intelligence interest' previously. The intercept was from a Ukranian uploading a picture of tanks rolling over the Crimean border wittily captioned 'Look at the guns on that - LOLZ'.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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