Written by Lord Number Nine
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Thursday, 13 February 2014

The Daily Mail are to sponsor an advert appealing for donations towards British flood victims. The advert, to be shown all across Syria, will feature a broad spectrum of white, middle-class people who currently live under the water.

The newspaper is angry about the amount of funds the government currently gives to the war-torn country and says it would like some back. Editor Paul Hitler said: "Why should we be giving 'Mohammed Foreigner' our money? British money for British people, that's what we say. I mean, they're not even Christians for Christ's sake".

Many Syrians were said to be behind the move. One local, who has lost his home town, house, wife, kids, other family members, job, pets, car, basically everything he ever had, said: "Those poor people. Of course I'll donate to them. I suppose the good thing is, when the summer comes, they can show people the watermark on their garden fence while having a barbecue and drinking beer. I'll probably be dead".

The Daily Mail says they have "high hopes" that the appeal will be a success. "As soon as the Syrians see how bad life is for the English, the money will come flooding in".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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