Written by queen mudder
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Topics: David Cameron

Friday, 7 February 2014

image for 'Seven days to save my ass!' - Brit Prime Minister
Seedy lothario with a lot of previous

London - A scandal about UK Prime Monster David Cameron and royal benefits slag Kate Middleton is threatening to oust the politician from his smug seat of power.

Weeks of media overkill have seen Cameron, 69, promoted as a regular kinda matrimonial guy with a clean fact-sheet free of indiscretions despite some very iffy rumors about his past.

Top of the bill alleging a string of other sordid shenanigans is 30-stone ladette and former International Marxist Group groupie Shady Sadie Dumpkoff, 69, a Slave Labour Party activist from Pratts Bottom, Berks.

A three-week tryst back in 1984 saw Cameron woo the daft cow with promises of a Tory Party Peerage and stuff - if only she dropped her knickers like a good true blew girl.

The pair's 30 year-old daughter, Little Sadie, now heads a global warming stink-tank based in Botswana, according to an Interpol mug shot guide.

Also on the FBI's Most Wanted List, Little Sadie's twin sons Craig and Adolf are said to have benefitted from their Grandpa's largesse with some hefty wedges deposited in an offshore bank account to keep them sweet.

Arrest warrants may be issued early next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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