Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 19 December 2013

image for Winter Solstice solar pole flip expected this weekend
Flipping heck!

Space, The Cosmos - Just what this means for dotty Miley Cyrus, beleaguered former poster-child for Disney corruption, or past-her-sell-by Sagittarian Vanessa Hudgens isn't immediately clear, of course.

All that's cooking up trouble in the cosmos right now is the prospect of this year's solar ingress into Capricorn at 12.10 New York time on Saturday coinciding with a widely expected sudden reversal of the sun's magnetic poles.

And the possible effect the flip-out it might have on a broad swath of US 5G networks, already struggling under the burden on Yuletide shopping frenzy and other manic seasonal stuff.

The last time a similar solar magnetic pole shit - uh, shift! - took place was back in 2002 in an event recorded by NASA as one of the most bizarre cases of White House closed circuit radio frequency jamming ever attributed to cosmic rays.

Badly affected was President George W Bush whose notorious 'pretzel moment' became the official by-line behind events that saw him have a full-blown fit all over the Presidential Residency carpet during the moment of the sun's sudden burst.

"It's like all Mr Bush's brain (sic) circuitry suddenly frazzled," White House historian Armillo Jimenez said today, "took nigh on two whole days to recalibrate the Pentagon's remote control reset button that every US president has implanted after the Inauguration Oath."

Expect widespread disruption for the rest of Yule.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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