Written by Auntie Jean
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Monday, 9 December 2013

image for Saints ain't what they used to be
A bowel Cardinal

Fast track Saints, now issued in batches of 30 or more are not as effective as the old single issue ones, an exit poll at St. Peter's Basilica has revealed. St. Christopher, now discredited for not being insured, was an all time favourite, polling 67% of the votes.

A pilgrim, who was there yesterday to rub his hemorrhoids on a relic of St. Nobby told our reporter, "It just made them Itch. I for one, will not be flying in from Australia to try to cure anything else. Ive been told to rub them on a few all rounders and that the older singly created Saints worked better".

"Austerity cuts and general Berlusconi related scandals seem to have sapped the strength of a lot of the magic bones and pieces of wood that we have around the place, but there does seem to have been a noticeable migration towards the older stuff" said a bowel Cardinal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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