Galápagos Islands, nr. Ecuador - The Pretender to the Throne has gone totally overboard spouting his latest daft global warming bollocks amid official government requests for a sample of DNA to refute persistent rumors about his paternity.
The son of the Queen Mother's gross little bastard Jimmy Savile has wrought a stellar career for himself channeling 'Prince Charles', son of 'Queen Elizabeth' in 40-year career defrauding the UK public.
His latest pronouncement reckons oil and gas super majors are directly responsible for 'global warming' that produced the recent Philippines typhoon and various hurricanes such as Sandy and Irene.
However the Pretender's desperate stand-up act could now change rather rapidly as new information about the disappearance of Lord Lucan claims the renegade peer topped the 'real' Prince Charles in a fight about money on the night Irish peer fled his matrimonial abode following the murder of family nanny Sandra Rivett.
Palace Holocaust deniers reacted quickly and inserted a Prince Charles lookalike into the royal machinery called David Savile, son of Raine, C*untess Spencer and the paedo entertainer, in a mindless knee-jerk reaction sanctioned by Prince Philip.
Raine was a daughter of ghastly romcom writer Barbara Cartland whose daughter Wendy became Mrs Thatcher after recalcitrant Tories bumped off the real Maggie and buried her somewhere close to David Cameron's constituency home.
Another of the Cartland 'Three Ugly Sisters' became Anus, Duchess of Norfolk before perpetrating her own massive con trick of shooing-in a bastard doppelgänger as her true son and Duchy heir.
NATO security insiders have hinted that when Queen Elizabeth pops her clogs impostor Charles will be slung onto a USAF plane bound for Gitmo ahead of being charges with the 9/11 conspiracy.
Expect that day to come sooner rather than later if the Comet Ison predictions begin to fall into shape.