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Monday, 23 September 2013

image for Barking woman credited with Al Shabab Kebab massacre
From the Feds' Most Wanted list

Nairobi - She's been described by UK red tops as a small and dumpy attention-deficit groupie fixated on big hairy guys with bulging AK 47s.

This morning the notorious former Barking, Isle of Dogs resident nicknamed the 'Shite Widow' was named prime suspect behind the weekend's Kenyan massacre as pics of the five foot nothing, 18-stone gargoyle were posted on the FBI's Most Wanted List.

Feds depict her as a failed ex-fast food operative who's eaten all her husbands like a typical arachnoid of the deadly tarantula species.

Homeland Security shrinks have added a few key personality traits to the Feds' profile linking a morbid, borderline personality with 'explosive' PMS issues that regularly manifest at the time of the Fool Moon.

"Last Thursday's blood-red Harvest Moon was one helluva shocker," Dr Einstein Flintstone, Emeritus Professor of Menstrual Psychology commented as details of the Nairobi shopping mall carnage began to emerge.

"Is Ms Shabab-Kebab some sort of relative of Queen Elizabeth?"

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