Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 28 March 2013

image for 'Plenty of room in the Ecuador bunker!' Julian Assange tells Oscar Pistorius
Assange has aged a bit during his Ecuador embassy siege

Pretoria, South Africa - "Sure it's a bit cramped but whaddahell?" the fugitive from justice chuckled during an internet call from his Ecuadorean embassy basement hideout in London SW3.

Holed up pending extradition to Sweden the Wikileaks founder sounded mighty lonesome during a midnight chat with the South African paralympian gold medal winner.

Their confidential discussions came ahead of a bail conditions hearing where murder suspect Pistorius successfully persuaded a Pretoria judge to remove the shackles for a Europe running trip.

"There's absolutely no chance of my client doing a, er, runner, Your Honor," the athlete's attorney told the packed courtroom.

"He just needs to run abroad so he can continue to pay his legal bills."

Earlier this year Pistorius posted a one million rand surety which has left him skint and in need of a few winners.

He's also demanded the end to probation service supervision, compulsory drink and drug taking and countless petty restrictions.

The bail hearing judge appeared to agree.

Expect an imminent sighting of the famous blade runner on a London track before next month's marathon.

Jessica Ennis is 103.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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