Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 12 March 2013

image for Hidden service elevator links Cardinal's private quarters with Europe's biggest gay sauna
One of the sauna's ecclesiastical VIPs

Rome - "Kinda puts the 'condom' back in 'condominium', heheh," is how one GayTripAdvisa.con reviewer put it this morning as the story went viral in cyberspace.

News that a palatial 12-room apartment housing the Vatican's top gay exorcist is connected via a secret elevator to a VIP massage suite at the Europa Multiclub, Europe's largest gay sauna, comes as the church's princes begin Conclave to elect the next Pope.

According to maintenance contractors servicing the lift's push-button technology the apartment's occupier Cardinal Ivan Dias installed a digital voice recognition operating system that includes messages in Latin for 'Going Down' as well as a musical burst of 'YMCA'.

The existence of the apartment's covert link with activities 'below stairs' was first suspected soon after the Vatican spent some £21 million buying apartments at a refurbished Roman palazzo at 2 Via Carducci, Rome in 2008.

Dias moved into the sumptuous condo followed by dozens of priests who took over a number of the building's other properties, all of them just a quick ride away from the massage parlor's myriad attractions.

Then everything went quiet until the Vatileaks scandal last year involving Pope Benedict's disgraced former butler and rumors about a 'massive gay scandal'...

Speaking about his ecclesiastical next door neighbors a pool man at Europe Multiclub said His Eminence is one of the club's best customers, a great tipper and '100% top notch Pope material'.

A half hour session in the sauna's Finnish Suite comes at a mouthwatering 100 Euros-a-pop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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