Written by dutch
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Topics: Bigfoot

Sunday, 17 February 2013

image for Sasquatch DNA Evidence Found
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Scientists in Siberia revealed they have found DNA evidence of sasquatch in a remote, deeply forested area. The asteroid strike flushed dozens of sasquatch out of a thick forest. The human-ape hybrids were seen from the air running around manically tearing at there thickly matted chest hair in distress and beating their chests Tarzan style.

The sasquatch had heard the sonic boom and felt the vibrations shaking their mountainous forest home. After seeing the blinding flash of the asteroid terrified the primitive beasts.

A pack of sasquatch prostrated themselves on the ground as if appealing to some deity. An observer from a media helicopter zoomed in with her camera and observed that the sasquatch had bows and arrows and were wearing clothes made out of animal skins. A female was carrying a little baby in a papoose. Children were running around terrified and appeared to have dolls made out of carved wood.

An old woman was seen dragging behind the rest and she had fashioned a stick from a fallen branch. The creatures wre drawn to the swiftly flowing river where they climbed up onto a boulder. The beasts found a waterfall and disappeared behind the urtain of the waterfall and disappeared into a deep cavern.

A CNN reporter said that,'It was the most incredible thing I have ever seen. The sasquatch had such natural beauty and dignity.'

The sasquatch had been living in an abandoned prospector's cabin that had not been used since before the second world war.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that the sasquatch might have interbred with the native peasant girls. Indeed rumour has it that Stalin might have been a 'hybrid' with sasquatch blood.

Scientists have been able to find definitive DNA evidence in the cabin which was fetid with faeces and traces of bodily hair and semen.

A local peasant disclosed that some of the local girls had run away to mate with the male sasquatch. After being plied with cheap vodka the old timer revealed that the sasquat h were very well endowed with twelve inch penises. Once a girl has copulated with a sasquatch she apparently is 'spoiled' for sex with a homo sapien. What is even more astounding is that there is a little tongue whi h protrudes from the sasquatches' wieners, 'once a girl has had sex with a bigfoot she is not satisfied by a human mate. Many girls have ran off into the forest never to be seen again. An old babushka was excited to hear that sasquatch females had been spotted as her daughtern Anya had not been seen for over twenty-five yekars. She was happy to know that she could have grandchildren whom had been fathered by the sasquatch. She confided that she had found the news very comforting.

Pictures ofnthe sasquatch and reconstructions of them are to be shown in the next edition of the National Geographic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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